There’s a popular saying that friendships come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And the older we get, the more this saying starts to make sense. Some friends are meant to teach us something. Some show up just when we need them the most and then fade with time. A few stay through different stages, different locations, and different versions of us.
But have you ever paused to think about how these friends actually come into our lives? Because that’s what this post is about—not just the different kinds of friendships we all need, but how they often begin.
So let’s talk about them. The five types of friendships we all need and the ways life introduces them to us.
1. Lifelong Friends
These are the friends who’ve seen you run around barefoot as a kid, who remember what your dad looked like before he went grey, and who can tell stories about your childhood you’ve long forgotten.
Lifelong friends are usually those early connections, maybe family friends, neighbours, or classmates from primary school. You probably didn’t choose them in the beginning; your parents just kept showing up at each other’s houses, and the friendship formed by default. But over time, these friends became your people. They witnessed the messy middle of your growing up, before life got complicated.
The interesting thing about lifelong friends is that you might grow apart for years — different universities, different countries, completely different worlds. But then you meet again, maybe at a wedding or back home during Christmas, and suddenly you’re both 10 years old again, cracking jokes and catching up like no time has passed.
There’s something safe and steady about them. Even if you’re not part of each other’s daily lives anymore, the history you share builds an unshakeable familiarity. It’s like, in knowing your beginning, they remind you of who you were before the world demanded too much.
2. Close Friends
Close friends may sometimes overlap with lifelong friends, but they don’t always come from childhood. Instead, these friendships are often formed during our key developmental years, like teenagehood, university, and early adulthood. The years where we start to figure out who we are.
You may have met them in high school, during NYSC, at your first campus fellowship, or through a mutual friend at a time when life was teaching you how to stand on your own. Unlike family friends, you chose these ones, and they chose you right back.
What makes close friends special is how they grow with you. You’ve probably been through a lot together: first heartbreaks, existential crises, long late-night convos that felt like therapy sessions. There might be stretches of silence when life gets busy, but when you reconnect, it’s effortless. No guilt, no awkwardness. You pick up from where you left off. There is something comforting about that.
These relationships challenge us and support us simultaneously while helping us grow through validation and safety. They’re the friends you can call when the world doesn’t make sense, and they’ll remind you that you’re not alone in figuring it out.
3. Friends of Convenience
Some friendships are born purely out of proximity, and there is nothing wrong with that. These are the friends you meet because they live on your street, attend your fitness class, go to the same church, or share a hobby with you. You didn’t plan to become friends. You just kept bumping into each other, and the vibe was right.
Friends of convenience are like little life boosters. They bring ease, joy, and companionship to everyday routines. Maybe they’re the ones you gist with during morning jogs, the neighbour who checks in when NEPA takes light, or the parent you chat with every morning at school drop-off.
Now, let’s be honest, these friendships don’t always last. Sometimes, they fade when the convenience ends. You change jobs. You stop attending that class. You move houses. But that doesn’t make the friendship any less important.
These are the people who made certain seasons lighter. Their presence, however brief, was meaningful. And if you’re lucky, some of these friendships deepen into something more long-term.
4. Work Friends
Let’s not underestimate the power of a work friend. These are the people who see you almost every day. You cry about the same annoying boss. You share lunch, inside jokes, and eye rolls during long meetings. Sometimes, you even vent to them about life outside of work because they’ve become your safe space.
There’s something bonding about surviving deadlines, office drama, or team wins together. Even if the friendship starts as purely professional, it often grows into something personal.
Not every work friend will follow you outside the office. But every now and then, you meet someone at work who becomes a real one. Someone you still talk to long after you’ve both moved on. Someone who evolves into a close friend, or maybe even a lifelong one.
Work friends remind us that friendship can happen even in the least emotional places. And sometimes, all it takes is a shared struggle or victory to unlock something deeper.
5. Shared Journey Friends
These are the ones you meet during a particular life season. Maybe you’re both new moms trying to figure out breastfeeding. Or both recovering from a breakup and joined the same support group. Or both trying to rebuild your lives in a new city. Whatever the story, the connection is that you are both in the same chapter of life, and your friendship is born from shared experience.
You connect because you get each other right now, in this moment. You don’t have to explain too much; they just understand. The empathy comes naturally.
Sometimes, the friendship doesn’t move beyond that chapter. But in the middle of it, it’s exactly what you need. And sometimes, those shared struggles or victories form the foundation for a lasting friendship.
These friends show us that we don’t have to go through hard seasons alone. And they remind us that sometimes, your next meaningful connection is just one honest conversation away.
6. Friends By Association
Then there are the people you meet through your close friends, maybe at a hangout, birthday party, or weekend trip. You don’t know them personally, but because your friend vouches for them, there’s an instant sense of ease. You might laugh over the same jokes, exchange social media handles, or even share a few inside moments that day. Are they your friends yet? Not quite. But they’re more than strangers.
They are more like acquaintances. The people we know just enough to recognise and greet, but not enough to really let into our personal world.
Sometimes, that’s where it ends. Other times, they slowly become part of your own circle too.
Can One Person Fit Into All These Types?
Absolutely. Friendship isn’t static; it evolves. One person can be your work friend, become your close friend, and eventually feel like a lifelong friend. Or your close friend from university could become your friend of convenience if they move into your estate.
Friendships are fluid. Sometimes, people step into multiple roles. And sometimes, they step out completely. That’s just life.
What matters isn’t the category someone fits into, but the quality of connection you share. Because no matter how or where a friendship starts, what really counts is how it makes you feel, and how it grows.
Do Social Media Friends Count?
My answer: Yes. But with context.
In today’s world, friendships don’t always need physical presence to be real. Emotional availability, genuine support, shared values—these are the building blocks of any friendship, online or offline.
You might never have met them in person, but you know their story, and they know yours. Maybe you started talking in the DMs, exchanged voice notes during tough times, or consistently cheered each other on through comments and reactions.
There is a long list of collaborations and even strong marriages that blossomed from the DMs.
That said, be discerning. Not every online interaction qualifies as friendship. But when it’s mutual, respectful, and emotionally present? That’s real connection.
Be a Good Friend, Attract Good Friends
It’s easy to focus on the kinds of friends we want. But the real magic happens when we also become the kind of friend others can count on.
Whether you’re someone’s childhood memory, shoulder to cry on, lunch break gist partner, or that voice note buddy during a rough patch, your role matters.
Friendships come into our lives in unexpected ways. Some for a reason, some for a season, and a lucky few, for life. But regardless of how long they stay, each type brings something valuable. And when we learn to recognise and cherish them, our lives get a little richer, warmer, and more grounded.
Life will always bring people into your space, but it’s up to you to nurture that connection into friendship or let them pass quietly.
So here’s to old friends, new friends, short-term companions, and lifelong constants. May we find them, nurture them, and never take them for granted.
Stay frosty.
I couldn’t resist commenting