Emotional Intelligence: Your past reactions often reveal patterns—responses we default to in moments of pressure, frustration, or conflict. Sometimes, we look back and wish we had spoken differently, acted with more patience, or handled a situation with greater wisdom. But change doesn’t happen simply by regretting the past.
The thing is, in your current state, if you are given the chance to relive those moments, you would act the same or even worse than before. Like I noted earlier, change doesn’t happen simply by regretting the past; it happens when we understand why we reacted the way we did and develop the self-awareness to do better next time.
In order to improve on your reaction, you need to have an understanding of your emotions (know your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers), control your behaviour, and be aware of the feelings of people around you. This is called EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)
We all have an innate level of EQ that needs to be strengthened because it has the power to improve our work, relationships, and overall quality of life.
The components of EQ are Self Awareness, Self Reflection, Motivation, Empathy, and Social skills. Each of these is a broad topic on it’s own.
Here are some of the benefits of Emotional Intelligence
- Enhanced Decision Making: When you are aware of your emotion and are able to control your behaviour, you’ll be able to stay calm, think clearly, and consequently make rational decisions.
- Foster Stronger Collaboration: Knowing the emotions of your team will make you adapt behaviour to get the best response from them. This will also enable you to resolve any conflict and provide a harmonious work environment for all.
- Healthier Relationships: Showing empathy and being patient with others creates a deeper bond.
- Boosts your credibility as a leader: When you are known to be emotionally intelligent, you will earn the trust of others. You’ll be able to guide, influence, and lead in any circle.
- Individuals with high EQ are known to bounce back faster after a setback.
Tips On How To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
1) Practice self-awareness:
Regularly check in with your emotions. Name what you feel and why (events, people, or thoughts that evoked what emotion), and keep tabs on your reactions. Reflect and review. See what you could have done differently and make the necessary adjustments for when next such situation arises, or if you could, salvage the present.
2) Get Outside Input:
Let one or two persons you trust give their honest opinion about you, unfiltered. Be ready to hear some hard truths😁 This would really help you to put things into perspective. Look out for recurring patterns. Keep up with the positives. Work on the negatives.
3) Open up: Let people see the real you.
Authenticity builds trust. When you take off the mask and let others see your true self, you create deeper, more meaningful connections. Share your personal stories and struggles—not for pity, but to remind others they’re not alone. Admit when you don’t know something or when you’re wrong; vulnerability doesn’t weaken you, it makes you more relatable.
4) Embrace feedback:
Accept constructive criticism gracefully, seeing it as an opportunity to improve rather than a personal attack. Instead of being defensive, listen, reflect, and apply what’s useful. Likewise, when giving feedback, be fair and balanced. Speak with clarity and kindness, focusing on solutions rather than just pointing out flaws. The goal is to build up, not tear down.
5) Be composed:
Moods are contagious—both positive and negative—are highly contagious. The way you handle stress and pressure doesn’t just affect you; it influences those around you as well. When you strive to stay calm even in the face of pressure, you’ll create a stabilising force for others around you.
6) Be approachable and empathic:
Being approachable isn’t just about having a friendly smile—it’s about creating a space where others feel safe to express themselves. True empathy goes beyond just understanding someone’s emotions; it’s about making them feel that their feelings matter.
7) Set boundaries:
Make your morals and standards known by being firm yet respectful in your communication. People will treat you based on what you allow, so stand by your values without fear of disappointing others. Protecting your emotional well-being isn’t selfish; it’s essential for a balanced and fulfilling life.
You can read more on my ebook Leading with Emotional Intelligence
