Alright, let’s dive into this. It’s a topic I think we’ve all danced around at some point, right? That feeling of wanting something so intensely that it almost hurts? Yeah, that’s desperation, and it’s a tricky beast.
So, you’re sitting there, maybe you’re dreaming of a new job, a relationship, a financial breakthrough, or even just a sense of peace. You picture it, you feel it, you practically taste it. And because you want it so much, you start to push, you start to grasp, you start to… well, you start to become desperate.
And here’s the kicker: that desperation? It often pushes what you want further away. It’s like trying to catch a butterfly by squeezing it in your fist. You end up crushing it.
Think about it. We’ve all seen it happen. The person is so desperate for a date that they come on way too strong, scaring potential partners away.
The job seeker who’s so anxious in interviews that they come across as needy instead of confident. The entrepreneur is so fixated on making money that they make rash decisions and alienate clients.
In all these cases, the more desperately you chase something, the more it slips through your fingers.
Why does this happen? Well, for a few reasons.
The Three Invisible Forces Behind Desperation
1. Desperation Feeds Neediness and That’s a Repellent Energy
First off, desperation reeks of neediness, and to be honest, nobody’s attracted to neediness. It creates an imbalance in the dynamic. It signals a lack of self-sufficiency, a sense that you’re relying on someone or something else to complete you. It’s like saying, “I’m incomplete without this, and I need you to fix me.” And that’s a lot of pressure to put on anyone or anything. What happens when people feel that weight?
They pull away. Fast.
2. Desperation Clouds Judgment and Fuels Self-Sabotage
Secondly, desperation clouds your judgement. It makes you act from a place of fear, not a place of clarity. When you’re desperate, you’re more likely to make impulsive choices, ignore red flags, and settle for less than you deserve. You’re so focused on the lack of what you want that you can’t see the opportunities or the potential pitfalls right in front of you.
3. Desperation Radiates Lack—And Attracts More Lack
Thirdly, desperation creates a negative energy field. It’s like sending out a signal of “I’m lacking, I’m lacking, I’m lacking.” And what do you attract when you emit that kind of energy? More lack. The universe, or whatever you want to call it, tends to mirror back what you put out. If you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have, you’ll likely keep attracting more of the same.
The Subtle Yet Powerful Difference Between Desire and Desperation
Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t want things. Desire is a natural part of being human. It’s what motivates us, what drives us to grow and improve. But there’s a difference between desire and desperation.
Desire is a gentle pull, a sense of possibility, a belief in your ability to create what you want.
Desperation is a frantic push, a sense of urgency, and a fear of never getting it. One comes from abundance. The other is from scarcity.
How do we shift from desperation to desire? How do we attract what we want without chasing it away?
1. Cultivate Inner Peace and Contentment First
This is the foundation. Starts with cultivating a sense of inner peace and contentment. It’s about finding joy in the present moment, regardless of what you lack. It’s about recognising that you are already whole and complete and that anything you desire is simply an addition, not a necessity. When you anchor yourself in this inner knowing, you approach your desires from a place of abundance, not lack.
You start to say, “I would love this… but I am okay now.”
That energy shift changes everything. You show up more grounded, more magnetic, more open to opportunities—because you’re not chasing from a place of emptiness. You’re attracting from a place of wholeness.
And that’s when the magic tends to unfold. When you no longer need it to feel complete, you create space for it to enter your life naturally, without force.
2. Trust the Process, Even When the Timeline Feels Scary
Trust that things will unfold in their own time, in their own way. Trust that you are capable of creating the life you want, even if you don’t see the path yet. And it’s about taking inspired action. Not frantic, desperate action, but focused, intentional action that aligns with your values and your goals.
Think of it like planting a seed. You don’t dig it up every day to see if it’s growing. You plant it, you water it, you give it sunlight, and you trust that it will sprout in its own time.
It’s about letting go of the outcome and focusing on the journey. It’s about enjoying the process of creating, of learning, of growing. It’s about finding joy in the small victories along the way.
3. Accept What You Can’t Control—And Let It Go
Sometimes to move away from desperation, you have to accept that some things are simply out of our control. Sometimes, we have to surrender to the flow of life and trust that everything is happening for a reason.
It’s not about giving up on your dreams. It’s about releasing the grip of desperation and embracing a sense of calm confidence. It’s about knowing that you are worthy of all the good things life has to offer and that they will come to you when the time is right. That’s not defeat. That’s wisdom.
4. Detach from the Outcome—Focus on the Journey
Like planting a seed. You don’t dig it up every day to check if it’s growing. You water it, nurture it, expose it to adequate sunshine and trust.
Obsessing over the outcome steals the joy of the process. You forget to celebrate how far you’ve already come. You rob yourself of the satisfaction of being present in the moment.
But when you shift your focus to the journey itself—to the actions you can take, the habits you can build, the joy you can cultivate today—you start to experience a new kind of fulfilment.
The kind that doesn’t rely on the external result to feel whole.
The kind that makes the journey meaningful, no matter the outcome.
5. Take Inspired, Calm Action (Not Frantic Action)
Desperation makes you act impulsively.
It drives you into panic mode—where every decision feels urgent, every opportunity feels like your only shot, and every no feels like the end of the road. From that frantic headspace, you start grasping at anything that looks remotely like a solution, even if it’s not truly aligned with what you want or deserve. You accept less than you should. You ignore red flags because you’re terrified the chance might not come again.
You act from fear, not from power.
Desire is different. Desire lets you act intentionally.
It gives you room to pause, to breathe, to assess the situation from a place of clarity instead of chaos. It allows you to choose your next step with purpose, not panic. When you move from a place of calm confidence, you make better choices.
You start noticing doors opening where you once only saw walls.
In conclusion, take a deep breath. Relax. Let go of the need to control everything. Trust the process and remember, you are already enough. You are already worthy. And what you desire will come to you, not because you chase it, but because you attract it with your calm, confident energy.
Make the shift from needing to allowing. Allow the universe to do its thing. Allow yourself to enjoy the present moment. And allow yourself to receive all the good things that are waiting for you.
And if you find yourself slipping back into desperation, that’s okay. We all do sometimes. Just take a moment to pause, to breathe, to remind yourself that you are enough, you are safe, you are loved, and you are supported. And then, gently, bring yourself back to a place of peace and trust.
In that state, your energy shifts.
You show up as someone who knows their worth, someone who isn’t grasping but allowing. And that’s the version of you that attracts the right people, the right opportunities, and the right outcomes, because you’re no longer chasing them. You’re simply walking in the direction of your desires with an open, steady heart.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. We’re all learning and growing together. And the journey is just as important as the destination. So, enjoy the ride. You’ve got this.
Stay frosty!
